Songbird
by Reinkakou
Summary: Rigby finds himself closer to breaking each and every day as the world around him refuses to stop drastically changing. Best friend now slipping out from in between his fingers and mistakes around every corner, the raccoon is finding life pretty unbearable. But perhaps there's some hope after all from an unexpected source that's been there all along. Rigby/Eileen
1. The Wire

"_Two birds on a wire._

_One tries to fly away, and the other_…

_Watches him close from that wire_.

_He says he wants to as well_,

_But he is a liar_."

* * *

He _always_ got the pickaxe. Who ever heard of trying to dig with a _pickaxe _anyways? Rigby turned to look at his blue jay friend, whose eyes were locked intently on the screen. At least _he _was having fun, probably because a shovel actually enabled him to dig. Though, why was he even thinking about over this? The raccoon _always_ got the pickaxe, that much would really never change; the mammal proving to be absolutely pathetic the deal-breaker game known as 'punchies.' Rigby grinned a bit, returning to the game. He didn't care, and things didn't need to change if he enjoyed them just as they were.

"Oooooh!" the blue jay let out, standing up and raising his arms in victory, Rigby just casually tossing his controller to the side and slouching on the couch with mild discontent. Regardless to how things were, losing still sucked. "Third one in a row!" the avian yelled.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not even trying." Rigby defended, crossing his arms and averting eye contact away from the bird's direction.

"Impressive that you can even fail that badly without trying," Mordecai taunted, poking at the raccoon who squirmed in an attempt to retreat from the male's reach.

"Stop talking!" The mammal screamed, laughing as he flailed about on the couch. Just little moments like this were enough to fuel him in moving forward, this long-running friendship having its multiple ups and downs over the many years, but always managing to recover itself in one way or another. In short, when the two friends engaged into a fight of some sorts, they always made up. Rigby often worried if there would ever be an argument that would sever the friendship to the point where things couldn't return to as they once were, and feared such an occurrence; something that would ruin everything between the duo, a point of no return where forgiveness could no longer be provided.

The horse play ceased as a faint buzz became audible, the avian stepping away from his raccoon friend to retrieve his vibrating phone from deep between the couch cushions. Mordecai tapped a few buttons, carefully examining the screen while disappointment began to overcome Rigby. He didn't even have to read the screen, too many times before this had happened for him to not know what this meant by now.

"Margaret?" the smaller male asked, trying his best to hide the disdain from his voice, the avian giving a nod in response.

"Yeah, she wants to meet at the coffee shop again while she's on her break." Mordecai explained, the raccoon rolling his eyes slightly, not at all surprised.

"Dude, that's like the fifth time this week!" Rigby yelled, upset by the robin always butting in while the two companions were perfectly fine with each other. He tried his best not to complain that often, else he'd be spouting crap about the female avian all the time, and he knew in doing so would only result in an upset blue jay. Nothing good would come from down-talking his girlfriend...

"I can't help it dude, we've been getting really close lately," the blue jay explained, Rigby pretending to vomit in response. "You should really spend more time with Eileen anyhow."

"I'm around her enough as it is!" As sickening as it was for the raccoon to say, he couldn't deny that he in the mole had begun dating. Their relationship 'ironically'began shortly after Mordecai had gained the courage to admit his feelings to the robin, to which she obviously accepted. Same could be said for Eileen, her feelings for the mammal painfully obvious to everyone since square one, so all Rigby had to do was ask, and voilà.Though, Rigby knew he had done this solely to prevent being one-upped by his friend who'd moved up from being single, and not out of love, or really any emotion whatsoever.

"But it's not like you two really, well... talk." Mordecai said with a slight chuckle, Rigby just rolling his eyes once more. "Come on dude."

"...Okay." The raccoon agreed dully, getting up off his spot on the couch, and following the bird out the front door of the house. As much as he didn't want to do this, he knew it'd all be over soon if he remained patient, and bore through with things.

* * *

Rigby carefully eyed the avian couple from across the shop, resting his head on his arm, and trying his best to listen in on their conversation.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice interrupted, slightly startling the raccoon as he looked up across the table to the small mole who gave him a look of worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." Rigby muttered, swirling his coffee with his finger lightly, enduring the heat. Maybe he shouldn't make what he was doing so obvious when in public... He just got so distracted and intent when it came to Mordecai and Margaret, wanting to make sure nothing carried on too far; Rigby had watched and endured too many of the couple's kisses to count at this point, stockpiling it all away somewhere where his troubles were hidden.

"You always say that..." Eileen went on, her concern not fading. God was she so persistent at times like these, where he'd rather be left to himself. The mole had only proved to be a nuisance throughout their relationships short life-span, how the raccoon had managed, he'd never know. Not to mention, the female was rather touchy, even when Rigby tried his best to make it clear he wanted no contact between the two of them.

"Because you always ask," the raccoon retorted, taking a swig of his coffee while Eileen looked down at hers silently. Rigby did feel bad at times. Knowing that he was only leading her on this whole time, selfishly only caring about himself, not hesitating to step on her emotions to get what he wanted. This conversation between the two of them was a regular, and Rigby was always as blunt and apathetic about it. Still, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her, the raccoon feeling she realized this relationship had been fake from the start. He was sure she knew he felt nothing for her, yet she played along and allowed this act to continue. Why..?

"Eileen," Rigby began, hesitating to speak up, words faltering.

"What?" she asked, caught a little off-guard.

"Why are you with me... when I treat you like this?" He asked, looking the mole in her bright jade eyes that hid shyly behind thick lenses. She hesitated, looking away and out the window of the coffee shop, blushing a bit in embarrassment of the sudden question. The silence between the two grew longer and longer, the faint sounds of Mordecai and Margaret's seemingly gleeful conversation in the background. Eileen turned back to face him, shocking the raccoon with a smile; her overbite proving to be somewhat... cute.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me why you're with me," the mole answered, causing Rigby to choke on his drink, hoarse coughs filling the coffee shop as people turned to the male with concern. The raccoon was unsure as to how he should respond to that. If anything, their couple-hood was completely spawned out envy.

"Envy for what exactly?" Rigby thought to himself, looking back down at his beverage which was now a spluttered mess. It had been that he was jealous of Mordecai moving on, and taking another step forward in life, wasn't it? He didn't want to be left behind...

Nothing needed to be said, and the quiet between the two made it obvious he wouldn't be giving an answer. Rigby returned his attention to the birds, letting out a sigh of boredom.

"They've really been hitting it off lately." Eileen said with a giggle, that Rigby's harshly cast glare soon silenced. The mole looked at the male apologetically, but also noted in her mind that the topic hit a nerve in Rigby. Why was he so bothered by this?

"Whatever," the raccoon said, shifting his harsh look to the robin who happily laughed with the blue jay across from her, they'll break up eventually."

"Sure, I guess..." the mole drifted off, turning to face the happy couple across the room as well. The female looked back at Rigby who was once again focused on the two, and gave a slight frown. It was obvious that the scene bothered him, but why? Eileen took another sip, not knowing what to say, and deciding to go along with the raccoon's charade. She didn't have to tell him.

"But how long would the two of them last?"Rigby questioned internally. Mordecai and Margaret appeared to be very happy together, but perhaps there were underlying problems that he couldn't see, or at least, so he hoped. The two birds had to separate eventually, didn't they? The robin had proven to be terrible at maintaining relationships in the past, which would only repeat itself. He was sure of it, but what about him and Eileen? How long could the two of them remain in this unhappy refrain with each other? Mordecai would be the determinate of that the mammal guessed, knowing as soon as the blue jay said goodbye to the robin, he would do the same with Eileen.

Even so, he could feel his friend slowly slipping away from him, and into the hands of the robin as time passed on. All Rigby wanted was for him and Mordecai to be friends forever; together forever. The mammal's eyes grew glassy as he held back his tears, knowing that everything must come to an end eventually. Eventually, he and the blue jay would be forced to part, and Rigby would have to continue life on his own. The raccoon would have to grow up, and say goodbye, having nothing but his memories of the blue jay to sustain him. He knew deep down, that no matter how much he didn't want to believe it, that Mordecai would leave one day, and Rigby would do whatever he could to make sure that day never came.

* * *

"_Two birds of a feather_,

_Say that they're always gonna stay together__**.**_

_But one's never going to let go of that wire_.

_He says that he will_,

_But he's just a liar_."

"_Two Birds_" -_ Regina Spektor_


	2. Mirror in the Sky

"_Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?_

_Can the child within my heart rise above?_

_Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?_

_Can I handle the seasons of my life?"_

* * *

"I just don't understand why we can't get some sort of discount since we go there all the time. We're practically there every day!" Rigby continued to rant as the duo entered the house, front door opening to release the raccoon's whines throughout the house, "I mean, they could just give us a free coffee like-... every other day."

"I don't think that would be a very good financial move..." Mordecai explained.

"Yeah well, it's putting a dent in my wallet to go there every day and buy a coffee just to have a terrible time of sitting in a sweaty booth and socializing for an hour."

"Well they can't just have people loitering around- and hey, you didn't _have_ to come."

"I most certainly do." Rigby grumbled, throwing himself on the couch and letting his little legs rest.

"And I had a good time regardless." The blue jay added, taking a seat next to the raccoon and grabbing the TV remote.

"I could tell." Rigby snorted, watching the bird flip through the channels for something familiar.

"Why's that?"

Rigby frowned, refusing to remove his eyes from the television with fear of looking into those of the male beside him. He didn't want to act like he'd even heard the question. Rigby didn't know exactly how to answer it- no, he didn't know how to answer the question he knew was sure to follow. How he could tell the bird was having fun would be easy to explain. Why he cared would be a more complex thing to process.

"Never mind." Rigby groaned, rolling off the couch in the pursuit of a drink; honestly just hoping to create a temporary distance between him and Mordecai.

The blue jay just looked at him with question for a few sparse moments, but decided to let it slide.

"Okay." was his only answer. Jeez...

Rigby opened the fridge and grabbed a soda, standing there as he opened it and taking a sip. The drink barely had flavor to him anymore after having consumed so much to him over the years. It had become a little to familiar. It just felt like fizz in his mouth to some degree. Something that had grown so familiar becoming nothing but tiresome and forgotten...

Rigby entered the living room once again, finding that his companion had barely moved an inch.

"Ooh! I like this show." Rigby let out with a smile, crawling over the back of the couch and landing perfectly on his rear without spilling a single drop from his can. Mordecai didn't say anything, but merely responded by raising the volume on the television.

The two just sat there, nothing but the sound of the television running through the house with the exception of Rigby's occasional sips of soda. The raccoon wanted to say something, but found himself unable to find a way of starting conversation. It had been happening a lot recently, and it was odd to him. Since when was unable to start a conversation with Mordecai of all people?

"Margaret talked to me about moving in with her today." Mordecai stated. Well, at least a conversation had been started... though, Rigby really wish it hadn't at this point. His heart sunk to the pit of his stomach, goosebumps and a sickening feeling spreading all over him.

"Ah... What'd you say?"

"Well I told her that it was a lot more convenient for me to just live here at the park since I work here and all." the blue jay stated, "Plus I'm not all that sure I'm ready to jump to that already." he laughed.

Rigby frowned, taking another sip of his soda, this one tasting more bitter than the last, and going down his throat more painfully.

"What about me?.." Rigby asked quietly.

"Well, I don't wanna leave me bro either, of course." The bird chuckled, punching the raccoon's elbow gently. It didn't hurt; his shoulder at least. Rigby's chest felt as if it were taking the real beating. The mammal didn't really react to the bird either, he just stared ahead towards the television.

"I mean, what about me- when you're not here?"

"Whoa, I just said I didn't plan on doing that- well, I don't. In case I haven't made that clear."

Rigby wanted to hit him back right now, only harder. Though he knew it wouldn't harm the bird at all, his arms and muscles far too flimsy as seen many times in the countless punchies fights. He just wanted to hurt the bird for saying that, because he knew he was lying. Maybe right _now _he'd stay at the park, but that was just now. He wanted to know about later; the future of things was always his concern.

"Okay." Rigby answered, copying the bird's idle response from earlier.

"I knew you wouldn't like to hear that..." the bird trailed off, "But I felt like you should know." Rigby agreed with that much at least.

"Thanks." The raccoon muttered, turning to actually look the bird in the eyes. As expected, he just found himself sitting there, lost. He didn't know what to say, but it felt like all the weight that had just been placed on him upon hearing that new had been lifted now. He had meant it though, he was definitely thankful the bird had told him that, regardless of how much he didn't want to hear it.

"So-... what did you and Eileen talk about?"

"Same thing as usual. Equally as boring. Equally as annoying." Rigby scoffed.

"Dude, why are you even dating her then? It doesn't help anyone if you're only going to be mean to her throughout this whole thing."

"She hasn't said anything about it." the mammal defended.

"That's because we both know that she really likes you, so she'll put up with all the pain just to be with you." Mordecai argued.

"That sounds really familiar." Rigby chuckled sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"How long do you think she can manage to continue biding through everything?"

"I don't know," Mordecai started with uncertainty, "But why would you even want to test it? Whether you like it or not, Eileen is a really good friend, and you're going to push her to her limits and lose her if this continues."

"Things have just been changing so much lately..." Rigby muttered, drawing rings around the top of his soda can, "I don't know how to change with it."

"Just try to take things slow." Mordecai assured, rubbing the raccoon's head with a smile. Rigby returned it, deciding to just leave things as they were for now; bearable.

* * *

"Eat up everyone!" Pops yelled cheerily to the crowded kitchen table, the cluster of workers surrounding it beginning to dig into their meals. 'Family' dinners at the park were rare, which really only meant they were also more mandatory. If Benson had to suffer the so called inconvenience of driving home late that he exaggerated ever so often, you better believe he was making everyone else join him.

Although, maybe it was also the fact that they were so rare that made them actually liked. No one truly seemed to mind being huddled around a table to enjoy Pops' cooking every once in a while with the rest of the workers. Course the lolliman's cooking was probably much better than anything that Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost could stir up in their trailer. Everyone usually either made their own meals wherever it was they lived. Mordecai and Rigby were truly the lucky ones, one of the the perks of living with Pops was certainly the meals. Even Thomas would join the group for the family dinners; Benson having insisted of course, unless the goat's mother were to say otherwise.

The banter of various conversations carried around the table, Rigby just sitting there and watching it all roll on. He's listen to part of the conversation being carried on between Muscle Man and Hi Fives alternating between Five's brother and Starla, then switch over to the one between Pops and Benson about some financial park stuff. Mordecai sat next to the raccoon, talking to Skips oddly enough. It wasn't very odd for him to be social at these 'family' dinner things though. Thomas sat on the other side of Rigby, the goat talking about as much as him. Thomas was the opposite from the blue jay; seemingly mute on these occasions. Not that it was surprising. It would take time for him to become as familiar with everyone else as everyone already was.

Rigby leaned next to Mordecai and just rested his head against the bird's arm like a tired child. He'd already finished his meal, and was beginning to feel sick of this environment. Though it wasn't as if he had much to do elsewhere. What was he supposed to do? Go play video games alone? Go upstairs and just sulk around in his room alone? This was just kind of the raccoon's way of telling Mordecai he was getting close to done.

"Oh, and hey, Benson." Mordecai began, "Do you think me and Rigby can take a day off sometime next week?" Rigby sat up, looking at the bird and then the gumball machine across the table in confusion. Benson took a sip from his glass, then looked sternly back at the bird.

"If you perform well for the rest of this week, I might consider it."

Mordecai looked down at the mammal beside him with question.

"O-oh. Yeah, we will." Rigby promised to Benson.

* * *

Rigby began to gather scattered clothing from off the floor to prepare a blanket on his trampoline. Mordecai used the bathroom across the hall to brush his teeth, Rigby's acute hearing allowing him to hone in on every detail. He really was out of it today, unable to think straight for even a minute it seemed.

The raccoon pulled out a battered composition notebook with a pencil acting as a bookmark. He opened it to the page he had marked, the only page in the book that even had writing on it. 'Times I've thought about it' acted as the title, below countless tally-marks could be found. Forty-nine to be exact. Rigby took the pencil, sticking the end of it into his mouth. Rigby chewed on the wooden end, having pulled the eraser off to ensure he couldn't change his mind when adding marks.

Rigby gave it slight thought, peering out the doorway and across the hall towards Mordecai's back as the bird continued to brush his teeth. He finally ended up marking in the book, drawing a diagonal line across the row of four. That made fifty.

_"Fifty times."_ Rigby thought to himself, returning his book to its original position as he heard the bird spit into the sink and begin to finish up. How long would it take before he eventually took action? Eventually ruined things? Eventually let his feelings get the best of him?

"Goodnight." Mordecai said to Rigby, entering the room and flipping off the light. Rigby could hear as the other male shifted around in his bed, beginning to make himself comfortable on his trampoline as well. Fifty was beginning to become too much.

The raccoon curled up, tail between his legs and hugging himself. He'd had that book for a while now it seemed, even before he'd gotten a job here at the park. How Rigby managed to keep it hidden that long was a mystery. But when he'd first arrived at the park, the book only had five or six marks in it, meaning that things were only getting worse as time went by, and as he got older.

"Goodnight."

* * *

"_Well, I've been afraid of changing,_

_'Cause I've built my life around you._

_But time makes you bolder,_

_Even children get older,  
_

_And I'm getting older too."_

_"Landslide" - Fleetwood Mac_

* * *

Well, Songbird is Richard's least favorite. So of course, I update this instead of OoT. :P  
Forgive errors please! No beta and too apathetic to reread myself. Sympathy for the lazy, please. Sorry for any who have been waiting for an update on this. *Which I doubt there are any.  
I'm walking aimlessly with it.

Until next time!


	3. Forget the World

_"Forget what we're told,_

_Before we get too old._

_Show me a garden that's bursting into life."_

* * *

Rigby brought the can of soda up to his mouth, the car almost simultaneously hitting a bump in the road and causing the raccoon to knock his beverage against his mouth, spilling a sparse bit onto the front of his shirt.

"Dude!" the raccoon let out, wiping away the beverage from his nose and upper lip.

Mordecai just looked at him through the rear-view mirror of the car. "What?"

"Drive smoother. You made me spill my soda."

"Sorry, I forgot to have the road repaved before we drove up here." the blue jay retorted sarcastically, "I can't control the road. And besides this is like the third time you've done this on the way up here. We're getting further up into the mountains, so of course it's going to get a little bumpy."

Eileen and Margaret sat by to the side, idly giggling to themselves at the males' banter.

Rigby only let out a groan, putting his soda back into the cup holder on the side of the door. There wasn't much to do in the back seat, especially since to no one's surprise, he'd been gifted with sitting with Eileen. Margaret hadn't even as so much called shotgun, yet Mordecai still stood plastered on the opinion that the robin should sit up front with him.

"How much longer?" Rigby whined, beating on the back of the bird's seat.

Mordecai sighed, gripping the wheel a bit tighter but remaining focused on his driving through the difficult and windy roads. Especially since they weren't even supposed to be in these parts; clearly not learning their lesson from last time.

"Less than when you asked ten seconds ago."

"It's totally been longer than ten seconds, dude." the raccoon frowned, removing himself from the back of the driver's seat.

His hand came down to rest upon that of the mole seated beside him. There were three seats in the back, and somehow she still came across the brilliant decision of sitting in the middle when Rigby wanted to be seated by himself on the left.

Rigby pulled back his hand as if the mole's hand were a branding iron, hissing as though it caused him literal physical pain. He could admittedly be a drama queen at times.

Eileen just smiled at him despite his rudeness. "Are you excited for the camping trip?"

"Ecstatic." Rigby grumbled.

When Mordecai had initially said that the two were going to go camping again, Rigby hadn't been all too excited. Although, when he found out that "two" apparently meant "four" nowadays, any ounce of anticipation that he'd had previous to that point was completely drained out of him.

"Uh, what do you want to do first?" Eileen questioned her boyfriend further.

"Go home." the raccoon frowned.

Rigby kicked at the back of the blue jay's seat until he stopped mid-sentence to look at the mammal in the mirror once more.

"What now, dude?" Mordecai asked irritated

"Can you turn up the radio back here?"

"I guess."

The volume grew louder and Rigby turned to look out the window, resting him head on his hand. Anything to help him forget that he was awkwardly placed in the back seat of a car with Eileen on his way to the same crappy camping spot that they almost died in last time. Rigby was beginning to regret all the hard work he'd gone through the previous week all for it to just lead up to this. So no worth it.

Trees and brush flew by in a blur, white line of the road's border swaying like a serpent. Rigby stared at the outside world passing him by as he just sat there in the vehicle. Rigby didn't want to be here; he didn't want to be with the two girls. At least, not right now. Though it was often mistakable that Rigby disliked Eileen and Margaret through thoughts such as this one, he truly did like them. It was just that the consistency that they were in his life was rapidly growing at a rate he found difficult to handle.

Well, that was just one of the "perks" of a relationship one would say, right? Rigby honestly just needed some time to himself right now.

Things hadn't been going as well as they could have over the past couple of days and it was really starting to sink into Rigby's mind, pestering him to no avail. He was up to fifty-two marks in the book now, which was seemingly good, yet also somewhat bad. Two marks for the sparse amount of days that had passed was uncommon. Though, like he said, things hadn't been going the best. Rigby would typically get one mark a week, and he'd happily admit that it wasn't uncommon to have zero a week as well.

The raccoon hummed the tune of the song dully to himself, feeling his eyelids begin to drop, and his head grow heavy. Leaning against the door and resting his head on the cold glass of the window, Rigby began to allow himself to drift away. Maybe this time, he wouldn't hear them.

How sweet it would feel to just throw that book away and give into his urges. There wouldn't be a single worry in the world anymore. Nothing to fear.

No. That was a stupid thought.

* * *

"Wake up, dude. We're here." Mordecai's muffled voice could be heard through Rigby's head. The blue jay shook the sleeping raccoon, who slowly began to open his eyes and look around. The same, old, familiar campsite coming into hazy view behind the bird.

"Should've just left me sleeping." the raccoon spat, beginning to stretch and wake himself up.

"It's going to be a really long and irritating trip if you keep this up from right off the bat." Mordecai groaned as Rigby sluggishly moved himself out of the car.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry." the raccoon apologized, stepping out into the fresh air and feeling as a bout of cool wind brushed through his fur. Rigby grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor of the car, and began to put it on.

"How'd you convince the girls to come with us?" Rigby asked, not all to interested.

"There really wasn't much convincing to do. Margaret said she had fun last time, and Eileen, believe it or not, wants to spend time with you." Mordecai answered as the duo of males began to make their way over to the site to join their friends.

"That's stupid." Rigby mumbled with a heated face.

"I know, right? Who in their right mind would want to spend time with you?" the blue jay chuckled.

"Stop talking." Rigby laughed back to his friend.

Things could be worse. They could always be worse.

* * *

The group sat around the fire that Eileen had once again miraculously managed to spark up to everyone's dismay. Rigby held his hands out close to it, attempting to warm himself up regardless of how many times Mordecai took jabs at him about being a baby. He was cold, okay? Get over it.

Tents had been set up; two of them. No one had really taken the time to ask or talk about how things were to go. Rigby had no intention of sleeping in a tent by himself, nor with Eileen, and certainly not with Margaret. So...

The girls could have a tent and do their girly things together, and the bros could be bros.

Sun had set and moon had risen, stars perfectly visible and not a cloud in sight. Within Rigby's mind, this only translated to 'there was no way he was getting out of this trip'. At least if it rained he wouldn't be the _only_ miserable one.

Well, maybe he shouldn't really use as harsh a word as that. Rigby was beginning to get some slight enjoyment out of this trip, currently seated next to Eileen on one of the logs while Mordecai and Margaret socialized on the opposite one.

The mammals were playing against each other with their hand-held games, same as they had the last time. Eileen had been the one to suggest it, approaching Rigby with request of a battle. She'd really paid attention to him the last time they were here; Rigby would give her that. Eileen knew that video games, regardless to how bad the raccoon was at them, would help him perk up.

Rigby let out a groan, and Eileen a chuckle, as the mole one once again.

"Cheats." the raccoon grumbled.

"Would it make you feel better if I agreed to that?" Eileen giggled.

Rigby couldn't help as his grin grew to a smile, and he laughed along with her. "Pff."

Though, even through all this enjoyment, the thoughts of why it was exactly that he always ended up with Eileen wouldn't subside. Rigby looked at the girl across from him, light from the fire adding warm color to the side of her face and flickering in the reflection of her glasses.

He didn't really _hate_ being with Eileen, he'd admit that. Rigby was just more used to being with Mordecai and had never liked change. Certainly not this one.

Both mammals turned to look at the birds as two burst out laughing, turning back to look at each other with absurdity.

"Hey, Margaret. Wanna feel my muscles?" Rigby mocked in a deep voice, pretending to be his blue jay friend while him and Eileen watched the couple inaudibly chat.

The mole giggled, "Ooh Mordecai, you're _so_ hansom." Eileen played along, raising her own voice to imitate the robin.

"What was that?" Mordecai asked, Rigby and Eileen realizing that eyes were now on them.

All four of the friends began to bust out laughing, and Rigby, for the first time that evening, was happy to be there. Still, it didn't take long for the raccoon's smile to fall to a frown the longer he watched Mordecai and Margaret. The unnatural feeling stirred in his stomach again.

It must've been pretty noticeable. Eileen just eyed the raccoon seated next to her on the log, watched his joy melt away. Jade eyes shifted to the couple across from them, and hers fell alongside his.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Fine." Rigby stated back.

Eileen slid her hand along the tree trunk until it met the raccoon's furry paw, curling her fingers around it.

Rigby just looked down, caught off-guard by the sudden hand holding.

"This feels weird." he muttered.

"You can let go if you want." Eileen mentioned. Rigby slowly slid his hand out from under hers and placed it in her lap, returning his attention to across the fire.

"Hey, Margaret. Can you paint my nails for me?" the mole asked, looking down at her hand.

"Yeah, sure." the robin answered, pulling herself up off the ground to cross over to her friend. "Do you want your nails painted too, Rigby?" Margaret added with a giggle.

"Haha." Rigby scoffed sarcastically.

Eileen held out her hand-held game to Rigby, the male just looking at it questionably. The mole gestured to Mordecai, and Rigby froze for a minute as he began to understand.

He took it from her silently, and got up off the log and transitioned over to lay on the ground beside the blue jay,

"Want to play?" Rigby asked, holding out the device.

"Tired of Eileen beating you?" Mordecai joked.

Rigby could hear the mole giggling on the other side of the fire and rolled his eyes. "Shut up." the raccoon sputtered, elbowing the bird in the side.

* * *

After Rigby's glorious victory- Ha, as if. After Rigby's horrendous and easily foreseen defeat, the two friends just laid there looking up at the sky above. The fire flickered and crackled from beneath their vision, and the stars above shone clear as day.

"I'm so jealous you have nails." Rigby could hear Margaret say, to which Eileen just humbly shrugged off.

"I'm sure we could paint your talons, if you want." the mole giggled back.

Rigby just closed his eyes, the quiet breeze stirring through the leaves of the trees, rustling and gently running across his face.

The raccoon inhaled deeply, reopening his eyes to look at the bird beside him.

Mordecai was looking up at the sky, seemingly mesmerized.

"You okay, dude?" Rigby asked.

"Yeah, I'm just... really happy." Mordecai laughed weakly. The bird began humming a tune, and the raccoon listened closely, feeling himself delve into slumber.

Rigby looked up above with his friend, eventually closing his eyes once more.

"Me too."

* * *

Rigby woke up groggily, a much colder breeze embracing him as he began to shiver violently upon awakening. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking around through the darkness, his keen night-vision kicking in.

Fire now burnt out, dull embers could still be seen. Rigby found no one seated around said burnt out fire anymore. Rigby looked beside him where he'd thought to find his blue jay friend, only to be wrong. He was alone.

The raccoon looked up at the sky, the stars now missing. Nothing but pitch black, not even a moon.

Then, the fire spontaneously combusted, huge flames rising up from the fire pit and engulfing the area.

Rigby fell backwards onto his rear, heart fluttering in fear as he watched the fire in horror. He squinted through the bright light, stomach turned upside down at what he came to see; the bodies of his friends right in the center of the flames.

Mordecai, Eileen, and Margaret all lay charred on the filthy ground, blood splattered around the area. Feathers were burnt, skin was melted, flesh and bone exposed.

The raccoon emptied his stomach onto the ground, scooting himself away as best he could from the scene while his legs refused to function how he wanted.

A force began to pull him closer to the fire, dragging him along the ground towards the inferno no matter how deep into the ground he sunk his claws. Slowly scooting inch by inch, claws slowly tearing from his fingers and pain coursing through his hand.

Rigby tried to scream, but found himself unable. The mammal was far too busy choking on sobs of fear to muster up anything of importance to say.

* * *

Eyes shot wide open to nothing but darkness. Rigby say up quickly, tears running down his face. He quickly looked around, finding the same familiar environment around him. Rigby was alone once more, no Mordecai beside him, and no Eileen or Margaret in sight.

Rigby began to breath quickly, heart picking up the pace just as before. The raccoon quickly got up, scampering over to one of the tents and unzipping it.

He could make out Mordecai's form through the darkness, quickly running over to him with joy that he was okay. Rigby sniffled, wiping his eyes and nose, trying to scoot into the sleeping back alongside the bird only to awkwardly stop dead in his tracks upon realizing that there was already two inside it.

Margaret shifted in her sleep alongside her boyfriend. Rigby held in his sobs, choking on them as he slowly back up and out of the tent, zipping the door back up.

Opening the door to the other tent, not to Rigby's surprise, he found Eileen alone.

The raccoon took a deep breath, his head was pounding at this point. Nightmares had become such a common thing to him at this point; he had no idea of how this one had stirred him up so much.

Rigby looked down at this trembling hands, remembering the pain of his claws that had all seemed too real.

The male quietly made his way into the tent, zipping it up behind him, turning back to the sleeping mole behind him. God was he going to regret this.

Rigby slipped into the sleeping bag with Eileen, not having much of a choice since apparently it was someone's moronic idea to only bring two sleeping bags, or so it would seem.

Making himself comfortable proved to be difficult, placing himself as far away from the girl as the sleeping bag would allow, only allowing fear to tighten its grasp on him.

The male continued to sniffle through the darkness, looking at Eileen's solemn face, eyes closed as she gracefully slept. She'd taken her glasses off he could see, so he couldn't help but admit she didn't look _entirely_ ugly right now.

Rigby turned to face the other direction to try and lessen how uncomfortable he felt in this position when a hand gripped at his. Eileen's hand held his, and Rigby could only lay there motionless with shock. As little as Eileen's opinion meant to him, he really didn't want her to see him like this. He quieted his sniffling and sobbing as best he could, but found it impossible to completely silence himself.

Yet, somehow, he felt comforted by the small embrace. He felt-... not so alone anymore. The screaming ceased, and the only sound he could hear was himself crying.

"This feels weird." Rigby whispered through the dark.

"You can let go if you want." Eileen answered quietly.

He didn't.

* * *

_"If I lay here._

_If I just lay here._

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"_

_"Chasing Cars" - Snow Patrol_

* * *

Wow. Shut up and wait. Even with only two chapters I have people hounding at me like they know exactly how this'll end. _ " Let me be.


	4. The Internal Frenzy

_"You and I have something different,_

_And I'm enjoying it cautiously._

_I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard._

_To get back to who I used to be."_

* * *

"Dude! Hurry up and go get dressed!" Mordecai yelled to Rigby, who sat on the coach continuing to play the video game the blue jay had told him to turn off well over twenty minutes ago.

"Jeez, what are you? My mom?" Rigby chuckled.

"It's not funny! Do you know how hard it was for me to get reservations at Bistro en le Parc?" Mordecai yelled back, jerking the controlled out of Rigby's hand.

"I don't see what the big deal is..."

"You can't go like that! They have a dress-code, how could you not remember that?!"

Rigby slid off the couch and onto the floor, tiredly yawning and sprawling out. "I don't even want to go." the raccoon moaned.

"Then why would you agree to a double date?" Mordecai groaned.

"I dunno." Rigby groaned, still taking the situation like a joke.

"Go get your tux. Please."

"Fine." Rigby muttered, giving in a getting up. "I doubt I can find it though."

There was a knocking at the front door, Mordecai nearly springing across the room to it, recollecting himself, and opening the door to reveal the two's dates.

"Hey!" he greeted, stepping aside and welcoming the two girls inside. They both said hello to the blue jay, as well as to Rigby was he quickly ran up the stairs to begin his escapade for formal wear.

"What time are the reservations for?" Margaret asked, taking a seat on the couch and adjusting her stylish golden gown.

"6:30." Mordecai answered, loosening his tie slightly and letting out a sight, "Hopefully Rigby can at least find pants by then." the blue jay said with a laugh.

Eileen giggled, taking a seat next to the robin. She wore a vibrant green that heavily brought out her jade eyes.

Rigby hurried down the stairs, looking up over the railing. "I can't find it!" he complained.

"This is why you can't try to throw everything together last minute; you've known about this for like a week! We made plans the day after the camping trip!" Mordecai scolded, Rigby's ear dropping down.

"What's he looking for?" Eileen questioned, looking up over the couch.

"His tuxedo." the bird groaned.

"Getting spiffy tonight, are we?" Margaret asked the raccoon.

"Doubtful." Rigby responded.

"Go check again, please." the blue jay pleaded, "And if you can't find it just get some nice dress pants and a polo shirt- I don't care so long as you do it QUICKLY."

"I can help, if you want." Eileen offered, Rigby raising an eye at her.

"Sure." the raccoon said, running back up the stairs to his room, Eileen slowly following behind. He really didn't care about who he got help from at this point; anything to get Mordecai to stop nagging at him.

Margaret giggled, Mordecai just taking a deep breath. The robin got up, walking over to the other bird and placing her hands on his shoulders.

"Loosen up." Margaret giggled. "It'll be fine."

"I just want everything to be perfect." Mordecai sighed.

"It already is." the robin ensured, giving the blue jay a quick kiss on the mouth.

* * *

"I don't really know where to start looking so-..." Rigby said to Eileen as he dug through the closet in search for his clothes. The mole humbly walked into the room, looking around. She'd seldom been in this room, everything so unfamiliar.

The mole began her search underneath Mordecai's bed, finding nothing but dirt and dust, standing back up and wiping anything her dress had collected off.

"Where did you see it last?"

"As if I know." Rigby snorted, throwing shirts and pants from out of the closet left and right, "The last time I actually had to wear them was to help Muscle Man on his date with Starla."

"Well that really helps..." Eileen mumbled to herself.

Eileen continued her adventurous expedition through the mounds of trash in the filth infested room, all in search of suitable attire for the raccoon. The bedroom seemingly grew more and more dirty as you traveled further into the side that you'd assume to be Rigby's. The raccoon's trampoline could hardly be seen under the mountain of clothes that Eileen had never even seen either of the males wear before.

The mole began to dig through the pile of mostly novelty T-shirts that ranged from video games, to TV shows, to crude humor. She rolled her eyes at some, giving a small giggle to others, folding all the shirts she dug out neatly in a pile to the side.

Rigby was quite the opposite, throwing anything in his way out of the closet and behind him into the bedroom; though Eileen highly doubted that it would be any neater in the closet than it was out on the floor. Rigby was just honestly taking a mess and moving it somewhere else at this point, no harm done.

Eventually to Eileen's surprise, she came across a bruised and beaten composition notebook that carried back memories from her long forgotten school days. The book bearing the same black and white organic pattern on its covers.

No name, subject, or grade appeared to be written on the front. Even so, it was excruciatingly obvious that the book had been used many times before, or was at least fairly old to some extent.

The pencil that had been burrowed within the spine of the book to separate and mark the pages rolled out as Eileen opened to the pages it had been trapped between. The pencil hit the floor, breaking the silence between the two mammals. Rigby's ears perked up, and his froze with wide eyes.

"Times you've thought about what?" Eileen questioned, studying the page intently; only leaving her more blind as Rigby charged at her, pouncing, then tackling her to the floor.

"DON'T READ MY STUFF!" Rigby screamed with tears burning in his eyes, voice hoarse with rage. He gripped the book tightly, tearing it from her hands with all his might.

Rigby looked down at the girl beneath him with surprise. She looked neither scared, nor upset, not even angry. Eileen just looked up at the male atop her through broken lenses, blood dribbling from her nose.

Rigby looked at his hand, and the crimson stain smeared across his fur.

"F-fuck! Eileen! I-I'm so sorry. Are you okay?!-" he asked, setting the small girl up which only seemingly worsened her nosebleed.

Rigby couldn't help but look in horror and regret as the blood trickled out of her nose, and ran down to her smiling mouth with goofy overbite. _Why was she smiling?_

"Perfectly fine." she whispered, reaching her arms out to embrace the raccoon tightly.

Rigby couldn't help but fall apart into her arms right then and there, sobbing loudly and letting out whimpers of pain.

What was he becoming throughout all this? Uncontrollably harming those around him over something as stupid as a notebook. _But it wasn't stupid..._

Tears continued to stream from Rigby's tired eyes, and his head grew lighter. The voices began screaming in his head, and the same familiar feeling similar to that of anesthesia began to return. Numbness spread throughout Rigby's body to the point that he could barely stand, leading him to succumb to falling to the ground. Eileen dropped down with him, refusing to release her hug.

His head hurt. A lot. And Rigby wanted nothing more than to just lock himself in an isolated room for the rest of his life where he would pray for thoughts to allude him. Although, as he had already found out many times before, there was seemingly no escape, no matter where he went. There was no cure either, and he would feel this daily despair for the rest of his life.

"I don't know what's stopped me from doing it this many times." Rigby muttered.

Eileen just closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, sniffling every now and then through the silence to try and refrain from leaking too much blood.

Rigby picked up the book once more, looking at it over Eileen's shoulder.

He just stared at the tally marks covering the page, and noticed the fresh drop of the mole's blood at the bottom of the page. Rigby felt his arms turn weak as well and his grip on the book eventually became loose, the notebook falling back to the floor.

"Stopped you from doing what?" the mole questioned gently as Rigby returned the embrace, pulling her closer.

The raccoon inhaled deeply, letting out a sigh. "Ending it all."

Rigby felt as one of Eileen's warm tears rolled off her pale cheek, and dripped down onto his muzzle.

The two remained embraced on the floor, holding each other as if they had nothing else to live for in the world.

Not another word was shared, and not another word was needed.

* * *

_"He's disappearing,_

_Fading subtly._

_I'm so close to being yours._

_Won't you stay with me._

_Please."_

_"Near to You" - A Fine Frenzy_

* * *

Double update. I know, surprising. It's very late right now and I'm very tired, so please forgive any mistakes. I'm a bit disappointed that people would think I'd write a generic fic. xD ... How hurtful. I'd figured I'd worked up enough of a reputation for the weird by now. Apparently not. I'll just try harder I suppose.

Hope you enjoyed! Until next update...


	5. Everything She Does is Beautiful

_"What day is it? And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive._

_I can't keep up and I can't back down._

_I've been losing so much time."_

* * *

It took some time for the two to recompose themselves, but eventually came downstairs in a much more presentable manner.

After having cleaned away the blood from Eileen's nose and managing to get the bleeding to stop, the mole mentioned having come upon a polo shirt along the way of the search for the raccoon's tuxedo.

Rigby has also found a pair of khaki pants from within the closet. He let out a bitter sigh. It wasn't at all what he'd been looking for, but it seemed like the best replacement that they could muster up at the moment.

The pair of mammals returned downstairs, Mordecai immediately letting out a sigh as Rigby appeared in his attire.

"You couldn't find it?" the blue jay sighed.

Rigby shook his head. This would just have to do.

"Eileen, what happened to your glasses?" Margaret asked in subtle shock.

Both Rigby and Eileen jumped for a second, having completely forgotten to fix up that issue. Trying to shrug it off and think of an excuse just made the mole feel extremely awkward; the sense that her friends were already aware imminent. "I feel down the stairs." was probably the most general excuse she could think of right now, but it certainly wasn't a good one considering Mordecai and Margaret had been downstairs the whole time.

She was certainly sounding more and more like a victim of domestic abuse in her head right now as ideas popped up. Though, her snooping was an acceptable excuse for Rigby's emotional overload that caused him act that way... right? Or was she just trying to make things seem prettier in her mind than they actually were.

Damn, she was at a loss for a response after all that needless thinking.

"Oh." was Eileen's pitiful response, taking off her glasses and squinting at them to pretend to be examining the lenses further.

"Does she have another pair she can use- or contacts?" Mordecai questioned anxiously.

"Chill bro." Rigby reassured, slumping over the side of the couch where Eileen sat, cautiously placing a contact onto her eye.

"How are you telling me to chill?! We're going to be late! Not to mention you're wearing _THAT._" the blue jay spat.

"Hey! What's wrong with this? I'm sure it'll pass as 'fancy' enough." Rigby defended.

"You better hope so..." sighed Mordecai.

Margaret came over and placed a hand on the blue jay shoulder and gave him a content smile to try and calm him down. Mordecai took a moment to inhale deeply, then returning a grin of his own to her.

Rigby glared at the two with disgust. All this gooey, romantic crap the two had been spouting everywhere lately was driving him to his wit's end.

The fact that it only took a smile for Margaret to soothe the beast known as Mordecai's pissy temper irritated him too. Had it been _him_, Rigby would've had to go through a butt-load of apologizing and making up for it. He'd probably have to be doing all that to make up for tonight as a matter of fact.

"Ready to go." Eileen smiled, approaching the group.

Rigby struggled to keep his jaw up as he looked into the mole's eyes, the absence of her glasses immediately affecting him. This was going to be a _long _night.

* * *

After a seemingly endless care ride in the back seat with Eileen, the group arrived at Bistro en le Parc; the restaurant with one of the most misleading names seeing as how it was a good twenty-minute drive through the city from anything park-related.

Sitting next to the girl you recently tackled and gave a nosebleed in your fit of uncontrolled anger, unfortunately, makes twenty uncomfortable minutes of silence seem like sixty.

The girls beheld the restaurant with eyes of amazement as the four entered, while Mordecai and Rigby found it all too familiar.

"Think they'll remember us?" Rigby chuckled mischievously.

"I sure hope not..." the bird muttered.

Rigby elbowed his friend's leg. "Cheer up." the raccoon grumbled back. Ironic for him to be the one saying something like that...

Mordecai approached the receptionist's desk, speaking with the old and wrinkled woman while Eileen and Margaret further explored the restaurant. Rigby rolled his eyes as he heard the girls speak in amazement of how clean the bathrooms apparently were.

The raccoon joined his friend at the receptionist, which proved to be a bad idea due to the fact that the bird immediately shot daggers at him.

Rigby looked around to see what it was exactly Mordecai was upset about, turning back around innocently as he realized it must be him.

"What?"

"We were late. They had to give our table away." spat the blue jay.

"D-dude?! What?" the raccoon stammered in shock. "Is there not anything we can do?! Can we not get a different table or something?!" While Rigby himself didn't care about this whole dinner-thing in the slightest, he knew that it meant a lot to Mordecai somehow.

Mordecai shrugged, turning back to look at the receptionist questionably. With how loud Rigby was being, she was bound to have heard them.

The woman pushed her glasses up, looking down the list and running her long, painted fingernails across the paper.

"I can still get you seats, but we don't have a table for four open." she spoke.

Both males looked at each other confused as Mordecai grew more hopeful. "So- what do you have?" the blue jay spoke up.

"I can get you two tables of two." she responded, "But that's all we have."

"It's fine." Mordecai assured, maybe better. He honestly hadn't wanted to take Rigby with him on this since square one, but he knew for a fact that the mammal would've thrown a fit about it. Plus, Mordecai often felt guilty after leaving Rigby out on things, Eileen too.

But now, he got some time to be with Margaret himself with the raccoon tagging along. Added to that, this whole situation was entirely Rigby's fault, so there was no room for his friend to stir up a fit later on.

Mordecai stuck his hands in his pant's pockets, making sure everything he needed was still in place. Rigby just raised an eyebrow at his friend. "We'll take it." the bird stated.

A cheery looking waitress eventually came, escorting Mordecai and Margaret off to their table as a severely up-stuck waiter took Eileen and Rigby to theirs. _Of course_ they got the bad server. That just proved to be Rigby's luck majority of the time.

The waiter eyed Rigby, looking at the mammal from head to toe. The raccoon returned the look to the taller man as well.

"What?" Rigby barked.

"Your clothes-"

"Yeah, well, they were all I could find, so tough luck."

"Our dress policy clearly a jacket and shoes are required for service." the waiter explained.

"I couldn't find my jacket." Rigby defended.

"I hardly see how that's my prob-"

"And what do you mean shoes?! I'm wearing shoes!" the raccoon added, showing the waiter the pair of red sneakers he had put on.

"Those are not dress shoes..." the man said with a small laugh.

"They were all I could find in the car. Plus, who cares? What weirdo is going to be looking at my feet the entire time we're here? Hm? Any fetishes you want to confess to, sir?" Rigby teased, Eileen sitting awkwardly quiet across the table the entire time.

The server just let out a sigh, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle. "Can I get you two anything to drink?" he asked, turning to Eileen first with the prayer that she'd be a little more reasonable.

"I'll just have water." she responded, the man writing her choice on his notepad and then turning to Rigby.

"Do you have any soda?" the raccoon asked.

"Soda? Sir, this is a very high standard establishment. We don't typically serve _kids _here, and therefore don't carry beverages for children." Rigby let out a groan. "Can I get you something else to drink?"

"Soda." Rigby stated plainly, "Just. Get. Me. Soda."

The server laughed at how ridiculous the mammal was being. "I already told you we don't have any soda? Though, I can get you some club soda if you'd like." the man joked.

"I knew it!" Rigby declared; completely oblivious. "Liar! I knew you had soda!"

The waiter laughed again, Eileen giggling to herself from the other side of the table.

"So, one _club soda_ and a water?" the man asked, both Rigby and Eileen shaking their heads in confirmation. "I'll go get that for you two." he said, grinning widely at Rigby and walking away.

"He's totally going to do something to it after that." Eileen laughed.

Rigby rolled his eyes. "Yeah, probably slip a roofie in it and make love to my feet while I'm unconscious."

Eileen snorted, covering her face in embarrassment as Rigby chuckled alongside her.

_"What to talk about?" _Eileen thought to herself silently, watching as the raccoon across from her just twiddled his thumbs. She was nervous, but also excited. The mole was certainly surprised when she'd heard that Rigby wanted to take her on a fancy double-date alongside the Mordecai and Margaret.

He seemed happier now than he did earlier, at least to her he did. Was there something she couldn't see though? Something she'd been missing.

Eileen frowned, not knowing whether or not she should bring what had happened in Rigby's room up or not. He'd seemed like he was undergoing a lot of pain at the time; having gotten all worked up. Of course, the fact that Rigby was apparently having thoughts of... well, removing himself from this world had its fair share of damage on the mole's heart as well. Regardless, to her, it seemed like something that she'd like to talk about to someone about it if she could. She'd always have Margaret to go to, but she felt as if Rigby clearly hadn't said a word about anything of the sort to the blue jay.

"What even happened earlier tonight?" Eileen asked.

Rigby was confused for a moment, but gave it some thought and immediately held his head low in shame. "I'm so sorry." he apologized.

The mole just shrugged it off. It hadn't hurt that much, honestly. He'd just gotten her off guard and in the right spot. Facing facts, Rigby was quite the baby. Eileen had to be the one to teach him how to manage achieving something as simple as a pull-up for goodness sake.

"Don't be." Eileen murmured, "I just want to know what's wrong."

The waiter returned with their drinks, setting down Eileen's water in front of the mole, and Rigby's _carbonated_ water respectively in front of him.

"I hope the beverages satisfy you." the man chuckled darkly, placing the menus down in front of the mammals. "I'll be back to take your orders shortly." And with that, he turned and walked off.

Eileen was scared to death at this point, cautiously placing a straw in her cup and looking over it carefully for any revealing traces of spit or even Rigby's idea of sedatives.

The raccoon on the other hand just began drinking his club soda right away, almost spitting out the liquid almost just as soon as it touched his lips. Eileen couldn't help but laugh at how disappointed her boyfriend seemed after taking a sip; it clearly wasn't at all what he'd been expecting.

Rigby didn't say anything, just returned to looking down at the lights reflection on the wooden table's surface and leaving Eileen to laugh by herself this time. Laughter quickly came to an graceless halt as she came to realize she was alone on this one.

"Why do things have to be like this?" the raccoon murmured out of nowhere, refusing to look up from his concrete gaze at the table.

Eileen remained silent momentarily, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he was getting at. "Be like what?"

"Miserable, disgusting, painful. Why?" Rigby was beginning to tear up again. It grew harder for him to swallow, harder to speak, harder to breathe.

"Does this have to do with Mordecai and Margaret?" Eileen questioned. Rigby just shook his head.

"Everything. Everyone. W-why?" he choked. The mole didn't speak. She couldn't understand what he was trying to point out and express. Eileen truly wanted to help Rigby, but the girl wasn't entirely sure she would be able to.

"How long has it been like this?"

"I don't know." Rigby mumbled, looking up and into Eileen's eyes. He smirked bitterly. The mole looked too adorable with her glasses off. "One day I just remember waking up and I couldn't see the beauty in life anymore." Rigby inhaled deeply, letting out his breath and feeling some relief.

"I'm sorry." Eileen muttered, leading way to new silence.

The raccoon knew he wasn't leaving much of an impression on Eileen; he couldn't show her how he was feeling. Heck, he could barely understand everything himself. So much _change_. He wanted everything to stay as they were right now, to stop shifting. Yet, at the same time, he was deathly afraid of things staying the same. Even with Mordecai around, these feelings of despair and uselessness wouldn't flee from his mind, making every night an endless hell. Rigby just wanted- to not be like this anymore; to be happy and getting into all sorts of goof shenanigans with Mordecai again.

Rigby loved nothing more than sleep because it allowed him to escape from this melancholic atmosphere in his life, but the hard part was getting to it. He'd come to fear the night, and when it was exactly he'd start to hear the voices. The ones that told him that everything couldn't be helped, couldn't be fixed. That Rigby would have to feel like this for the rest of his life due to whatever dysfunctional part of his mind was acting upon all this.

"I never really paid attention to how grateful I am for my life," the raccoon spoke up, "but I wish I could return to being too stupid to see that things can get worse." Rigby chuckled, Eileen laughing weakly alongside him.

"I'm here if you need me. Always." the mole said reassuringly and placing her hand atop Rigby's.

The raccoon retreated his hand from the embrace, and wiped his eyes with it.

He didn't need help, and there was nothing that _would_ help him.

"But with all these feelings going on inside, it doesn't help to be slowly losing my best friend." Rigby explained, turning to look at the bird's table.

Eileen watched as the raccoon studied the birds intently. This was all he'd been doing recently, wasn't it? When she looked at Mordecai and Margaret, she saw the relationship she wished to share with Rigby. Was that selfish? That all this time, the mole had looked at them with eyes of hope, where Rigby saw them with eyes of pain?

"Friendship is forever. Even when we're all off and separated, we're still friends." Eileen smiled.

"Why can't things just be like _THIS_ forever?" Rigby questioned angrily, gesturing to everything around him.

"People have to grow up." Eileen stated, her smile falling.

"Do we really _have_ to?" the raccoon chuckled sadly, turning to look at Eileen. "Or is that just what's expected of us? To grow up, be married off and start a family? What if I don't want THAT?"

Eileen could tell Rigby knew as little to the answer as he did; else he wouldn't be like this. He couldn't explain why either. The raccoon was only asking questions blindly at this point. There was no direction with this conversation.

"I don't know." was all Eileen could muster dumbly.

"I just want to go back to before everything changed, back to being a kid."

The mole opened her purse, probably the neatest purse that Rigby had ever come to seen. Everything was organized perfectly, contrary to how ordinary it had come to be for the purses of women to be a collective mess of jumbled garbage.

She unzipped a pocked, and pulled out a pink eraser, sliding it across the table to Rigby.

"I noticed your pencil didn't have one." Eileen stated.

The raccoon just looked at it questionably. It looked fairly new or rarely used, but what to use it _for_ was the real question in his head.

"Every day that you _don't_ have those thoughts, I want you to erase a tally." Eileen explained while Rigby just looked at her with utter disbelief for such a foreign idea. It was almost a crazy thing to even think about to the raccoon. He'd spent so long keeping track, and here she was telling him to go back and remove it all.

"Why?"

"Because I promise you that they'll eventually all be gone, and everything will be 'normal' again." she giggled, placing the eraser in Rigby's hand.

"I don't want it." he muttered, scooting it back towards Eileen's side of the table.

The mole just sighed, but didn't take it back, just leaving it in that spot. Her offer stood as it was, and no matter how stubborn Rigby could prove to be. If he really needed help, he would take it eventually.

That was the only thing with the raccoon that nobody seemed to understand as well as she did. The only key to understanding Rigby was patience.

"Why are you with me?" the raccoon asked as he had earlier that month at the coffee shop.

Eileen refused to even be phased by this question in the slightest, turning to the answer she'd used the last time. "I'll tell you if you tell me why you're with me." she answered just as she had weeks ago as well.

Rigby stayed silent has he always had when being told this, but to Eileen's surprise, he actually spoke up this time. "I guess we'll find out some day." the raccoon sighed.

The mole's heart fluttered for a moment, completely stunned at how her mood had escalated so quickly. "I guess we will." Eileen agreed softly.

"Why are we here again?"

"To- eat?" Eileen answered hesitantly.

"But why such a fancy-ass place like this?" he grumbled, "Surprised they even let us back in here after me and Mordecai gave them the whooping of a lifetime on Muscle Man and Starla's date." the raccoon chuckled, swinging his hands through the air like the self-proclaimed karate master he was.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that." Eileen grinned, "That was on the news. How'd you all not get charged with the damages?"

"Hey! They were the ones who decided they wanted to take _THIS_ on." Rigby boasted loudly, slamming his hand into the table and thus feeling both his hand and dreams of being a ninja shatter from a mere wooden table.

The mole fought back her laughter, covering her face as the chuckles escaped. Rigby joined in alongside her, gripping his hand tightly that flourished with pain.

"Are you okay?" Eileen questioned, wiping away the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, it's nothing." the raccoon bragged. Had to have been one of the worst lies he'd ever told. "Er- so, yeah. Why are we here?"

"Oh, right." Eileen frowned. There really didn't _have_ to be a specific reason to go out and eat at a restaurant, but since Mordecai was paying for the whole thing himself, she could share a bit of Rigby's curiosity.

"If anything," she began, Rigby's eyes fixed intently on hers as he further sipped on his beverage, "I guess it'd have to be because it's been..." Eileen stopped to think, counting on her fingers and mouthing the numbers quietly to herself, "Six months?" she asked.

Rigby looked at her with uncertainty. "What? That they've been a couple?" he questioned with a finger pointed at their friends across the restaurant.

"Yeah, I think that's it at least..."

"Hm." was all the male answered with.

"You know," Eileen began, "If I remember correctly, you asked me out about- the same days." she stated nonchalantly with a smirk.

"Huh, that's cool." Rigby answered dully, looking off to the side.

"So, you know what that means?"

"Nope. You must be making things up in your head." the raccoon answered with the straightest of faces.

Eileen let out a sigh, but failed to hold back her smile. He was such a child, perhaps what she loved most about him.

The mole's smile dropped as she remembered where they both currently stood. She could only look at the surface and hope that everything beneath was fine as well. Rigby seemed happy now, but to know that the child inside him; that she cherished so dearly, was dying, she couldn't help but share in his anguish.

"Happy six months." Eileen muttered with a weak grin, extending her glass out towards him.

Rigby looked at her quietly for a few moments before raising his alongside hers. "Happy six months." he repeated, the two tapping their glasses.

The waiter returned with his painfully forced smile just as the two had finished their weak celebratory cheer.

"May I take your orders?" he sighed, doing his best to keep his temper calm.

Crap. The two had really taken too much of their time chatting to even look over the menu for what to order.

"First off, why does this soda taste so funny?" Rigby asked, Eileen's face lighting up in embarrassment as she struggled to fight off her giggles.

"It is club soda, like you asked for." the man groaned in response.

"Yeah, but I've taste a _LOT_ of sodas in my life and this one takes the cake for tasting the worst."

"It is typically used in recipes for cooking, which is why we had it. People rarely have it as a stand-alone beverage." the waiter sighed. Rigby's look, however, didn't falter.

"If it's not a 'stand-alone' beverage," the raccoon started, imitating the man's accent as best he could, "Then why does it have 'soda' in the name?"

"I do not understand what you mean."

"It's misleading." Rigby argued.

"I did not name the drink, sir." the man growled in response. Both the waiter and Eileen knew that Rigby was just being ridiculous for his own fun. The mole found her boyfriend to be humorous, the waiter, had quite opposite thoughts.

"You just called it a drink!" Rigby announced loudly, many of the restaurant's patrons turning to feed attention to the rambunctious mammal's banter. Good, he wanted it that way.

"I don't see what you're getting at."

"Here you are, trying to pass off this 'soda' as a cooking ingredient, and now you're totally switching sides and calling it a _DRINK_." Rigby concluded, giving the waiter a look of sarcastic disbelief.

The man opened his mouth to answer, fuming almost to that of the point of Benson, but stood there wordless as Rigby gave him a look of victory. The waiter, defeated, turned sharply on his heel and walked away from the table before he let his emotions get the best of him.

Eileen sat across the table, crying from laughter. "Did you see his face?" she asked.

"Sure did." the raccoon said slyly.

The mole, however, felt slightly sorry for the man, and would be sure to leave him a tip. As a waitress herself, she could certainly share in his pains of disrespectful customers. Though, she was never as snooty as their waiter had been. Plus, Eileen was just a generally nice person to begin with.

Eileen froze with a look of realization. "Wait, how are we supposed to order now?" she chuckled.

"Pff." Rigby scoffed, "We probably don't want to eat here anyhow; they'd spit in our food."

The girl's face cringed in disgust. "Well, who's fault is that? Hm?" Eileen directed at the male.

"Shut up." Rigby laughed. "Seriously, what now though?"

"I don't know."

"We could always go to Wing Kingdom." the raccoon offered, "I'll buy. It's what we ended up doing last time we came here, coincidentally."

"I feel bad about leaving them though..." Eileen stated, averting her gaze towards the birds.

"Nah. This will just lessen Mordecai's bill. And knowing him, he couldn't afford this whole thing to begin with." Rigby laughed.

Eileen let out a breath of defeat, and began to slide out of the booth on her side, Rigby dropping down off his side as well.

"We should probably tell them at least." the mole mentioned as they made their way towards the exit.

"Fine. Just make sure to ask him if-..." Rigby came to a stop as a soft patter of applause ran through the restaurant. The raccoon turned to Eileen with a puzzled face, to which she just shrugged.

The pair, as short as they were, climbed back up into their booths, standing up and looking over the crowd to see what they'd been directing their attention to.

A moment of complete and utter bewilderment was shared between the two of them, both Eileen and Rigby's eyes wide open with shock. Heart slowed down, but with the grace of a halting train who grinds against the rails in the most unpleasant of ways.

A completely unseen moment, like the unexpected death of a person. Said person wakes up in the morning to continue with their daily life, yet somewhere along the lines, something clearly goes wrong. The dinner they had bought for themselves that night lies wasted within their fridge to never be eaten. Family left behind to grieve over the inevitable.

Life is too unpredictable. Yet, something like death; the only guarantee in life, is a bad example.

Rigby remained standing there, frozen like a statue. Eileen was the first to break free of the trance as the applause came to close, and the soft banter across the restaurant returned.

She looked Rigby, heart dropping at the sight of his face of pure devastation. Eileen faltered to find the words to comfort him; if any existed.

Eileen reached out, attempting to take the raccoon's hand from across the table. It came as no surprise when he pulled way and out of her reach, having seen her advances from the corner of his vision.

Rigby refused to look away, if he even had control over himself at this point. Thoughts raced through his head speedily without a trace as he watched his best friend get back up from one knee. Voices in his head screeched, screaming as loud as possibly conceivable as Margaret slipped the ring on her finger with tears of joy in her eyes.

The raccoon smiled, tears falling out of his eyes as well. Rigby's were of more bitter purposes, unfortunately.

He dropped back down onto the floor of the restaurant and began trying to make a hasty retreat to the exit when he felt a hand grasp on his wrist. Rigby turned with rage-filled eyes to look into the fearful face of Eileen.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

Rigby's lip trembled as his entire body began to shake. "Don't be." he muttered.

Eileen gave Rigby a hug, slipping a torn sheet of paper into the pocket of his khakis.

"If you feel like you need to use that book, talk to me first." the mole assured.

As she let him go and watched him quickly escape the building, Eileen decided it would be best if she left as well. Eileen would lie to the duo, saying that both her and Rigby had left for Wing Kingdom, and act surprised at the news of Margaret's engagement.

She wouldn't say a word about what had happened. Eileen knew that this night meant a lot to both Mordecai and Margaret and didn't want to spoil things for them both.

The only thing she wasn't completely confident of, was how Rigby would handle this with Mordecai.

Eileen headed back to the table, grabbing her purse. Even through all the turmoil that had occurred over the sparse minutes that had just passed, she smiled.

The eraser was gone.

* * *

Rigby ripped off his stupid dress clothes, opening the door to the car and throwing them inside onto the floor. Jeez, Mordecai was an idiot for not locking it. The raccoon was almost tempted to rob his friend's own car just to teach him a lesson. What a jerky thought...

The male felt the eraser in his pocket whilst removing his pants, pulling it out and looking over it in the dim light of the city's street lamps. There was nothing on either side, and just as he'd noticed before, it looked barely used.

He frowned. Rigby would sure as hell be marking that book tonight, so was there even a point in taking this thing with him? The raccoon had always imagined that he'd have more time before something like this happened. No, not something like this; exactly this.

How long would it be until a wedding? Until they have a whole family living together in a birdcage or something? Until he'd be left alone with Eileen who he can't even understand why he's with.

Rigby screamed, throwing the eraser down the alleyway between the restaurant and whatever trashy excuse for a building stood tall beside it.

The mammal huffed to himself, allowing for tears to fall from his face, but jumping in fear as he heard a loud 'Ow!' echo out from the alley way.

Rigby slowly turned around, squinting through the darkness of passage where there was bound to be some sort of monster or dangerous prostitute or dangerous monster prostitute. While Bistro en le Parc _was_ admittedly one of the most prestigious and classy eateries in the entire city, it really wasn't in the most safe or trustworthy part of town. Rigby carefully drew closer to the alleyway, entering and looking around.

"Uh, sorry?" the male called out doubtfully.

A smaller figure approached him, holding out the eraser towards Rigby. "So I guess this is yours?" the small boy scoffed sarcastically. "Watch where you throw it next time."

Rigby snatched the eraser out of his hands. "Little babies shouldn't be in alleyways to begin with." the raccoon growled, dragging the smaller one out with him into the open. "Where are your parent-" Rigby froze.

He held the small raccoon's wrist tightly in his hand, the mammal looking up at his through a pair of thickly-framed glasses.

"I see you stopped crying." the little raccoon giggled, Rigby's face lighting up almost as bright as one of the streetlights.

"H-hey! Were you spying on me?"

"Maybe." the boy chuckled again. "You're going to need that eraser for your notebook, right?"

"Dude that is so creepy..." Rigby faded off, letting go of the kids hand and backing away slowly.

The small raccoon surely wasn't a hooker, or so at least Rigby hoped with all his heart else things were about to get even weirder. Though, there was no guarantee that he wasn't a monster of some sort. The fact that he seemed to know everything about Rigby only made it more disturbing.

"Who are you?" Rigby asked.

"Donny." the boy responded. "At least, you can call me that I guess. Or you can call me Rigby." he said with a wink.

"What the hell..." Rigby trailed off.

Yup. He'd totally lost it by now. No doubt that the waiter had actually put something in his drink back there at the restaurant. Never trust a waiter who wants to suck your toes clean.

"Don't do it." Donny said, taking off his glasses and rubbing the glass with his shirt.

"Don't do what?" Rigby asked innocently.

"Kill yourself." the small child answered just as innocently.

"I don't think something like some little kid wandering around the streets and night telling me not to commit suicide if going to stop me if I get pushed that far." the taller raccoon spat.

"Pff." Donny laughed, "'Some little kid' huh?"

Both the raccoons turned around as Eileen exited from the restaurant. She looked directly at Rigby on cue with hesitation.

"Uh- what are you doing?" the mole asked.

"This little kid's been spying on me!" Rigby yelled, pointing directly at Donny who stood there smiling wide.

"What are you talking about?" Eileen grew quiet.

Rigby did a double-take, looking from the mole back to the small raccoon in from of him.

"You're a moron." Donny laughed.

"S-see!" Rigby yelled, "He just spoke! That kid RIGHT THERE."

"Rigby... I don't see anyone..." Eileen said fearfully, drawing closer. "Are you okay?" the mole asked, reaching out towards Rigby's forehead.

"Don't touch me!" he screamed, smacking her hand away. "That kid rig-" Rigby froze, and to no one's surprise, Donny was nowhere to be found. "H-how- WHAT?!"

"I think we should walk back to the park." she chuckled nervously, taking a hold on Rigby's hand as they began their extensive journey back to the raccoon's home.

"How could you not see him?! I bet it was because you're not wearing your glasses! Seriously though, he was there! I swear!"

"Whatever you say." Eileen teased.

The small boy looked out from around the corner as the couple walked further and further off into the distance. Donny smiled to himself, they were really cute together. And Rigby was even dumber than he'd imagined.

* * *

Eileen and Rigby arrived back at the park a good chunk of time after Margaret and Mordecai. The mole had grown tired along the way from walking in her high-heels and dress, eventually ending up walking barefoot until the park could be seen in the distance and Rigby offered to carry her the rest of the way.

Walking up the stairs to the front door of the house, Rigby set the mole back down.

Upon entering the house, the duo of mammals were almost immediately greeted by their two avian friends sitting on the couch together.

"There they are!" Mordecai greeted.

"I was worried you two would never make it back from Wing Kingdom." Margaret laughed.

Rigby turned around to Eileen who winked devilishly at him.

"Good job." he muttered to her, "Sorry we didn't get to eat together tonight."

"It's okay." the mole said, hugging him, "But you owe me, okay?" Eileen giggled.

"Sure." Rigby chuckled. "Goodnight."

Rigby turned and made his way upstairs, feeling so secure to walk in his room and flop down on his trampoline for some well deserved rest.

What the hell was with earlier though? That weird kid from before- was he even truly there? Of course he was! There was no way that he was going insane... right? Maybe it had just been his mind trying to tell him something. 'Donny' really looked a _lot_ like Rigby did as a child, except he didn't have those big, nerdy glasses plastered to his face.

"Pff. Moron." Rigby grumbled to himself, digging through his clothes and finding his notebook. Today ended quite badly...

"Dude, did you hear the news?!" Mordecai exclaimed, leading Rigby to indeed 'flip his shit', scrambling to hide his book once more.

"W-what news?" the raccoon responded uneasily.

"I asked her to marry me." Mordecai answered, blushing.

"It's okay if you want to cry on my shoulder, dude. Rejection is just a part of life. Maybe you can ask her another six months from now." Rigby chuckled. He'd force a smile, no matter how much he really didn't want to talk about this right now...

"Shut up." the bird laughed. "So, you'll be my best bro at the wedding right?"

Rigby couldn't help but frown now. "Sure." the raccoon dully muttered.

"What's wrong?" Mordecai asked.

"I don't want you to leave..." the raccoon explained sadly, wasting no time beating around the bush.

"Dude, we've already been over this, I'm not going to leave the park, I promise!"

"You're lying!" Rigby screamed back. "I know you will!" the raccoon shouted, running up to the bird and weakly punching at his legs. While Rigby's noodle-arms did no damage to Mordecai in any way whatsoever, it did hurt the avian to see his friend like this.

"Rigby..."

"I just don't want to be alone." Rigby chuckled softly, watching as his tears dropped down onto the floor, punches slowing to a halt.

The blue jay frowned, taking a seat on his bed. "Even if I _did_ leave, you wouldn't be alone. You have Bens- uh, Skips, Muscle Man, Fives, Pops and Thomas."

"You honestly think any of them can come close to replacing you?"

"Well, I don't think 'replace' is the best word..." Mordecai added. "Anyways, I'll always be working here with you."

Rigby was silent, and the bird didn't know what to do other than sigh deeply. Mordecai thought for a moment, rubbing at the back of his neck, but decided he really had no choice.

"You wanna sleep up here tonight?" the avian offered.

The raccoon still didn't answer, rather, just climbed up on the bed and sat beside his friend. Mordecai rubbed the small mammal's back slowly, fingers running through soft fur.

Rigby rested his head against his friend much like he had weeks ago at the most recent of their family dinners. All that truly meant was that the next one was coming closer, Rigby cringing at the thought. Man, he hated those things.

"No talking though, we need to sleep." Mordecai explained. The raccoon nodded softly against his friend. Rigby closed his eyes, eyelids growing darker as he heard the lights flip off.

Both men laid down in the bed aside one another, and Rigby could barely imagine how awkward this probably was for the bird considering he'd become engaged only hours ago. Though, this wasn't the first time that Mordecai had allowed something like this.

Rigby hugged his friend tightly as the bird looked down at the mammal latched on to him through tired eyes. He pet the raccoon's head, chuckling to himself as he felt Rigby purr into his chest. Mordecai began to whistle faintly to himself out of the blue and Rigby's ears perked up.

It was the same tune he had whistled the night of camping when the raccoon had fallen asleep under the stars... and woken up from that hellish nightmare, but that aside.

"What is that?" Rigby asked.

"What?" Mordecai questioned, puzzled.

"That song."

"I dunno, I just made it up I guess..." the blue jay chuckled lightly. "Do you like it?"

"Mhm." Rigby responded sleepily, nuzzling into the bird's feathers.

"If it'll get you to be quiet." Mordecai teased, continuing on with his song.

Maybe Rigby really _could_ start using that eraser Eileen had given him, starting with tonight. And as the melody his friend sang began to fade, the raccoon fell into one of the most pleasant slumbers he'd had in months. This time, he just prayed he'd wake up to find his friend beside him.

* * *

_"'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do,_

_Nothing to prove._

_And it's you and me and all other people,_

_And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you."_

_"You and Me" - Lifehouse_

* * *

As always, please forgive mistakes. No beta, and still lazy. Long chapter took quite a while to write, but I hope it makes up for the possible lack of activity I have on this story while I try to get some writing done for Out of Time. Hope you enjoyed the read and will stick around for the next chapter! c:


	6. Empty Spaces

If Rigby had thought family dinners to be bad, there were no words to describe how unfathomably uncomfortable he felt at Mordecai's bachelor party. Cheap-ass Benson had insisted on hosting both the party as well as the wedding itself at the park for what the gumball machine assured to be a "steal", and to Rigby's surprise, the blue jay allowed it.

Now the raccoon was no expert on stupid things like weddings or romance, but if put in the position of Margaret, he'd sure as hell be upset over having what's often considered as the single greatest day of your life hosted at this pitiful excuse of park. Not to mention what kind of supernatural horror would unleash itself during the wedding since such a thing had proven extremely common around here.

Still, there probably wasn't much more that needed to be done for a bachelor party that hadn't already. Pops had cooked up a great bounty of food for all the males to consume and Benson had the inordinate courtesy of providing the booze. Maybe that was the only thing that made this even slightly bearable; the fact that the raccoon was at least half-drunk right now. And how wonderfully bittersweet it felt to be lightheaded and intoxicated right now, surrounded by all these morons.

Everyone was much louder than usual, but as was to be expected when the alcohol was plentiful. Though, even if Rigby were secretly enjoying this situation in the slightest bit, it didn't overpower the exhaustion.

The raccoon rested his head against Mordecai's arm as he'd done so many times that it'd become the international sign of "I'm done, let's get the hell out of here." for Rigby. Yet shockingly, the blue jay only shrugged the mammal off to continue his unimportant conversation with a quite sober Benson over plans for the wedding.

"Dude," Rigby frowned, "You're being such a buzz-kill at your own bachelor party."

"If it's _my_ party, then why do I have to act how _you_ want?" Mordecai sighed.

The raccoon didn't respond. He couldn't help but admit he was selfish at times, but seriously, this wasn't any fun at all. Pops hadn't even touched a drink all night, it'd take an entire keg to get Skips mildly drunk, and Muscle Man was only more intolerable after a few drinks than he was normally.

Rigby scooted off his seat at the table, grabbing his beer and stumbling into the living room to play video games. Yeah- he was going to play video games alone, he didn't need anyone, not even stupid Mordecai to have a fun time. The booze were definitely going to throw off his game a little, even though he had no game to begin with according to Mordecai. Rigby could hardly stomach alcohol, let alone drink more than two or three beers without feeling tipsy.

The raccoon threw himself on the couch, letting out a load groan as his beer was spilled on him. "Dammit." Rigby cursed, licking at his fur. His ears perked up at the sound of snickering, turning to find Eileen seated at the other end of the couch struggling to hold in her giggles. Rigby stared blankly at her until the girl's chuckles ceased and she was left with nothing but an awkward frown.

Oddly, she was wearing that same green dress she'd worn the night of their date at the restaurant, but Rigby wouldn't put up much of an argument against it. She looked pretty awesome in it.

"What?" the mole asked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Rigby fumbled slowly, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "And what do you think is so damn funny?"

"I was invited." Eileen answered blankly.

"Wouldn't you rather be with your friend _MARGARET?"_ the raccoon yelled.

The mole didn't respond to the male's comment, silently twiddling her fingers. Rigby scooted closer and closer to the girl, resting his head against Eileen's shoulder.

"Ya know," Rigby began, "I think you look really good tonight." the raccoon confessed.

Eileen gave the male a puzzled look at the sudden compliment. "Thanks?"

"I'm not doing too well, am I?" Rigby laughed, drawing nearer to the mole's mouth with every word. "Let me try and fix it."

"Rigby," Eileen burst out, shoving the mammal off of her, "You're drunk." she stated.

"Damn." Rigby groaned, rubbing at his shoulder. She hit a lot harder than you'd think.

The raccoon let out a sigh, taking a sip of his beer before returning it to the table, completely disregarding the coasters that Benson was so pissy about using. So what? The table gets a ring on it. Maybe Rigby would care more if it were _his _table.

"I'm serious though," he continued, turning to Eileen once more, "I think I'm really starting to like you."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"I do!" Rigby burst out, "I jusht- I just didn't want to reveal that in front of everyone." the raccoon slurred, "I can hardly get to uh-" Rigby paused, trying to find the words. "I can hardly go anywhere without Mordecai."

Eileen didn't say a word, but also didn't object to Rigby drawing closer for a second try. She didn't object to his horrible beer-breath, she didn't object to his lips against hers, and she didn't object to his tongue against hers.

Rigby smirked as the mole began to kiss him back, Eileen clearly refusing to go down without putting up a fight for the dominance. It came as a surprise to Rigby, but he wouldn't object. It was kinda cute to see the small girl fight him for power.

The two separated, both gasping for breath after that sloppy kiss. Rigby let out another loud laugh, scratching at his chin. "I can't believe we just did that."

"Me neither." Eileen giggled.

"I really like you, Eileen." Rigby blurted out, "And I'm sorry that I uh- don't know what I'm saying but I mean it, right now..." Wait, that sounded wrong. "Ah, shit." the raccoon cussed, noticing how distraught the girl was at this point. "Did I jump the gun, or-?.."

"Eileen?" Thomas asked in complete surprise.

Rigby stared blankly at the other male for what seemed like ages. An even longer amount of time than car rides in the back seat with Eileen after domestic abuse seemed. The raccoon was at a complete loss for words right now and the same could sure as hell be said for Thomas right now.

"Holy shit, dude." the raccoon began, "I am so sorry."

"I should leave." Thomas frowned, getting up and grabbing his jacket on the way out the door, leaving Rigby to handle these things all by himself.

The raccoon's first reaction was to look around for any bystanders, to which he found none. Rigby let out a sigh of relief. God knows he had no intentions of kissing Thomas and he certainly hoped everyone else was also aware of this fact.

Disappointment overwhelmed Rigby at this point, at both the fact that kiss between him and Eileen had never occurred, and even worse, that it was rather with a male co-worker of his. He wasn't disgusted solely by the fact that Thomas was a male, having to admit that it did feel good. But it was only because of who he _thought_ he was kissing that it had resulted to pleasurably.

Slumping down off the couch, Rigby passed by the kitchen and the giddy laughs that burst out from within. Everyone else was clearly enjoying themselves, blissfully unaware of everything that had just transpired. But Rigby wasn't in the mood for this party anymore and wanted nothing more but to head upstairs and pass out on top of his trampoline. The raccoon left his beer downstairs on the table, knowing all too well by now that he'd had enough.

Each step seemed like an individual mountain and Rigby wouldn't lie in saying that he didn't fall at least once or twice while trying to make his way the bedroom, but he _did_ eventually make it after a large chunk of time spent unnecessarily struggling to keep his feet coordinated with each other.

Rigby covered himself with clothes scattered on the floor, the notebook that he'd somewhat forgotten falling out of a pair of jeans he'd picked up. The pencil rolled out, coming to a slow and seemingly putting pressure on Rigby to make a move. This night was one of loss, clearly, so in the nature of tradition, the raccoon flipped to the same page as always, and added another tally to the collection.

The eraser Eileen had given him had been neglected for the most part, but it did come in to be used every now and then. Thankfully, it helped keep the count down to about fifty-six, which was much lower than the true number that Rigby could only imagine at this point. Oh well, this made fifty-seven.

* * *

There is no song to go along with this since I threw it together in about half an hour to try and get myself started on an update for Songbird. I managed to finish this by the time my show was over and figure this is better than nothing, so I'll go ahead and post it now. I'll upload the rest of this chapter- well, when it's written.

Again, I'm sorry that it's last-minute, but please forgive mistakes and shortness in length and quality because of such reasons. Goodnight.


End file.
